


The one where Cassian thinks about the Force and love a lot

by colazitron



Series: smut prompts [5]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Everybody Lives, F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 15:33:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13930038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colazitron/pseuds/colazitron
Summary: They make it off Scarif, but then what?





	The one where Cassian thinks about the Force and love a lot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aimmyarrowshigh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimmyarrowshigh/gifts).



> Disclaimer: I am in no way affilliated with the characters depicted herein or their creators. I made all of this up for fun.
> 
>  
> 
> The prompt for this was: "Making love," Cassian Andor/character of your choosing.

 

_The Force_ , Cassian’s father used to say, _is in everything. It surrounds us, lives in and through us, connects us._ Cassian’s father wasn’t particularly religious, but this he believed in, the omnipresence of the Force in all things.

_And what, darling boy, connects you and me? Even when I’m not with you?_ he’d go on, pressing a kiss to Cassian’s forehead as he tucked him in.

_Love, father_ , he’d answer dutifully, and he’d smile at him. And in those moments, Cassian was always sure that he could feel it in his chest, warm and soft, but strong and unshakeable. The Force. Love.

 

_Cassian has been at war since he was four years old._

 

On Scarif, he holds Jyn in his arms and searches for it, that soft warmth, that unshakeable strength, and though she is all of those things in his arms, he feels hollow, empty. Done.

“I am one with the Force, the Force is with me,” she whispers in his ear, clings somehow tighter with each repetition. Cassian has no strength left, or warmth, or softness. He is shaken apart; broken by his fall. Truthfully, he doesn’t know what carried him up that tower, what could have brought him back down to watch their doom approach them in blinding white heat - hotter, harsher, stronger, than the Force.

He’s not sure his eyes close, but one moment he tries to whisper Jyn’s name, tries to tell her everything he can’t even put into words in his mind, and the next everything is black.

 

_Cassian has no recollection of not being at war._

 

He wakes in an infirmary bed. Slowly, and to the cool voice of a droid telling him he will be just fine, just please don’t move, Captain Andor. The droid sits him up slowly, pulls a tube from Cassian’s mouth that makes him gag and would make him cough if he had the strength to, and then puts a small spoon full of some sort of gel in his mouth. Cassian swallows without thinking, feels the gel coat his throat and soothe the pain from the extraction of the tube.

“Jyn,” he finally croaks, forces his eyes to focus on the white of the medical droid.

“Jyn Erso will be notified of your awakening. I’m sure you can expect her soon.”

Jyn is alive.

Somehow, even as Cassian stared their deaths in the face, they were pulled from its clutches, and now they are– here. Alive, still, so they have to be with the Rebel Alliance. No one else would go through the trouble of keeping them alive, and once Cassian is better, he will–

He wakes the second time to Jyn Erso curled on a box by his bedside, small frame smaller than his memory expected but maybe it’s just seeing her asleep, her upper body on his bed beside his legs, her head pillowed on one of her arms. Maybe it’s just that Jyn, awake, has always seemed larger than life, and her body too small to contain her.

 

_The Force is in everything. And yet, so is war._

 

Jyn never tells him to slow down, just sits by his side and lets him use her hands so long as his are recovering. Runs around the base fetching parts, carries K-2SO’s last back-up around her neck like the precious thing it is, and helps him rebuild his friend from the ground up. It takes a good long while to find enough Imperial security droid parts and wipe them of all Imperial programming before they can boot him up.

Cassian has done this only once before, but it can’t prepare him for the way he crumbles under the familiar voice, the statistics, the rationalisation of K-2’s fate on Scarif. The fact that somehow, miracuously, Chirrut, Baze, Bodhi, Jyn and he all made it off planet, that K-2 was the only one who didn’t, is good news.

It still takes Cassian a week before he can look at K-2 again.

 

_The opposite of love, they say, isn’t hate, but fear. And fear breeds violence like a desperate, cornered animal that lashes out._

 

Chirrut meditates with Cassian. Baze spars with Cassian. Bodhi flies with Cassian.

Jyn sits with him, and walks with him, and talks to him. Breathes with him. Lives with him. Laughs with him, sometimes.

Mon Mothma won’t send him back out into the field until he is fully recovered, and both his body and mind took a beating that is proving to be very difficult to put behind him indeed. Jyn refuses to leave with any other commanding officer but him, runs only small solo missions that leave Cassian restless and terrified until she returns.

 

_How do you fight war?_

 

Cassian can’t say what leads them there, or when his feelings for Jyn change. He’s not even sure they did. But when she’s in his arms again, bare and smiling, he’s suddenly flooded with warmth, and strength, with an unshakeable softness that brings tears to his eyes.

His hands cupping her breasts feel like holding the stars. Her sex tastes like moonlight on a cloudless night. The touch of her hands and her kiss wakes him up from a sleep he didn’t know he’d been trapped in. The warmth that surrounds him when he pushes into her, watches her hair splay out over his sheets, listens to her whisper his name over and over feels–

new.

Cassian feels re-made by her hand, in her image. By their hands, in their image.

“Love,” she breathes into the night. “All we have is love, and hope, and faith that other people have them too.”

 

**The End**


End file.
